Saturday, July 31, 2010

my own leading role

if i said i don't like my life, it might sound too harsh on my self, and not hundred percent true because, first, in some way my life not seem too bad, and second, i don't think i really do have some 'life'.
... yeah... it does sound pretty sad.

you know how in every movie there's always this person who always be the friend? the supporting character role? the not-so-significant-character-who-yet-needed-to-complete-the-picture?
well, that's me...
i'm the friend. the best friend. the supporting character. or whatever that is, who stand on the sideway.

but even some not-so-significant-character-who-yet-needed-to-complete-the-picture wants to get her own show once in a while.
even if i am no main character material, i do want to be some story heroine. the main character, the leading role.
but hell, who am i kidding?
i know for sure i am no main character material.
i don't have the look, i don't have the body, i don't have the image, i don't have the juice, i don't even have any story for that matter, because right now, i am twenty bloody years old, and i'm practically never done anything in my life. never done anything concrete in my life.
then again, even the ugly duckling wants to be to be the swan, the cinderella's step sisters want to fill in cinderella's shoes, I too always wants to be the lead character of one story because it is tiring always be the supporting character (cos we always support the main character, of course). I want to be me. I want people to see me as me. I want to live my life as me. Because i'm tired of being someone's friend, someone's sibling, someone's kid, someone's best friend. i'm tired of being that girl from the next class, or the person who people can actually turn to when things got ugly or they wants to brag something, or just being "some girl".
i want to have life. an exciting life.
i want to have an adventure. fall in love in big city. going abroad. having a job that i love.
i want to go places. being fearless. and actually had a ball to do anything.
i want to living my own life, not just completing other people's life.


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