you are the one who should define who you really are. not them.

we go round and round, here and there try to make sense out of our existence.

we try to define ourselves. who we really are. is it just some kind a mask that we’ve been always putting on? or is that the real face?

but then we get lonely trying to figure out everything on our own. so we go here and there, make people define who we are. and we started hate being alone, doing things on our own. then we just let people told us who we are and who we supposed to be and how we supposed to be. then we let other people define who we really are.

we let who’s our friends define who we really are. we let who’s we dated define who we really are. we let who’s designer clothes that we wore define who we really are. we let people define who really are because we’re either too lazy to try defining who we really are by ourselves or we’re just too afraid to define who we really are by ourselves.

so we do what people told us to do. we try to exceeds what society expect us to be. we go round and round do what people think we should do.

but in the end, it’s not up to them who you are or who you want to become, because no matter what people said about you, you are alone in this one, you are the one who should define who you really are. not them.

life is indeed a fairy-tale

from just a little kid, we’ve been taught to believe the “live happily ever after” myth. all books we read, all movies we watched, all the stories that been told tell us about how a person live happily ever after at the very end of the story. And for generation that been raised by dream-sold-out movies like Cinderella, Peter Pan, Aladdin, and so on , so on, we grew up by thinking that life is indeed a fairy tale that everyone will live happily ever after and that dreams do come true like they all said.

then we grew up. with a hopes that our live is also a fairy-tale like the stories said. that we are the princess who gets the prince charming. that we are the person who get what we want in the end of the story. but then life came along. eating all the hopes we have little by little. we start questioning whether fairy-tale life that we used to heard and dreamed about really are true or it’s just a bullshit notion some crazy-romantic-prick created to sell their story. in the mean time, when life seem always get in your way, tricked you, and played you, and gave you every reason not to believe whatever you used to believed, a little piece of you are still the same kid who used to heard all the happy-ending stories, you are still the kid who keep hoping the best of life would come and you can joined all those happy face you remembered from every happy-ending movies you ever watched, you are still the kid who wants to believe even it seem nearly impossible to do.

i am that kid. i started to questioned everything. every beliefs that i ever had. then life keeps getting on my way and it seems easier just to be a non-believer. it’s easier when you’re stop believing that love, happiness are exist cos when you didn’t get one you didn’t end up disappointed cos you think those things are not exist. it’s easier when you don’t believe that all the dreams, and hopes, and prayers will coming true because you won’t feel any disappointment when your hopes, dreams, and prayer didn’t come true. but i still that kid. inside all those non-believe crap i put, i still the same kid who grew up by watching Snow White, Cinderella, Red Riding Hood, Sleeping Beauty. i still the same kid who believe that dreams do come true and life is a fairy tale.

i’m twenty years old. and i spent half of it spoil my self watching and reading and listened all those happy-ending, fairy-tale-life stories. and the other half of it hoping that my life someday will be like those happy-ending, fairy-tale-life stories without realizing that maybe my life is already a fairy-tale, the only problem is even in the fairy tale not everyone can have happy-ending story, live happily ever after. and not everyone can be the princess or the prince for that matter or the lead character if i may say. there’s always two Cinderella’s ugly step sisters, or evil queen who died, and not to forget ugly duckling still ugly until the end of the story comparing to all the swans. so yeah. life is pretty much a fairy tale, just i’m not that lucky to be the main character who get her happy-ending life. or maybe not yet.

not everyone live happily ever after

Dari kecil kita diajarkan untuk percaya hidup bahagia selamanya.
Live happily ever after.
Itu juga yang membuat semua buku dongeng anak- anak, semua film kartun mengajarkan bahwa seberat apapun hidup, suatu saat nanti kita semua akan hidup bahagia, semua mimpi- mimpi kita akan jadi kenyataan. Seperti Walt Disney ajarkan ke kita semua “dreams do come true…”.

Sebagai generasi yang besar dengan asuhan film- film Disney seperti Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, dan banyak film- film berakhir bahagia lain nya, kita tumbuh sambil terus percaya bahwa semua impian kita akan jadi kenyataan dan kita akan hidup bahagia.

Tapi ternyata hidup nampaknya selalu punya cara untuk menghalangi kita hidup bahagia, dan selalu punya cara untuk kita berhenti percaya bahwa impian- impian kita bisa jadi kenyataan.

Dalam dua puluh tahun gue hidup, setengahnya dihabiskan untuk menonton film- film manja yang membuat gue begitu manja nya percaya kalau suatu saat nanti semua akan hidup bahagia, dan semua impian akan jadi kenyataan, dan setengahnya lagi gue habiskan seolah untuk membuktikan bahwa hidup ini mungkin sama dengan dongeng- dongeng itu.
Tapi ternyata gue melewatkan satu point penting, bahwa tidak semua tokoh dalam dongeng nya hidup bahagia.