Wednesday, May 19, 2010

tricky happiness

Y' know, it is funny how sometimes life can play it tricks to us.
How life made happiness become so tricky.
It made us believe at first, made us believed that happiness was something that possible, something that can be achieved. Yeah, life made us believed that happiness was existing, that we will be able to actually be happy eventually.
But here comes the tricky part, life will always stands in our way to be happy. Life would always give us burden.
Well, like everyone said, life's sucks. And I think "suck" was the only most polite way to describe life, cos life is hard, it's brutally vindictive, it's bitchin' the hell out of every single one of us.
Well, life and happiness is never come in the same term. It's almost like happiness in life is impossible.
And for someone who's been disappoints in life few too many times than what they can handle, life ain't just screwing them, life actually broke them.
And somewhere along the way, we stop believe that happiness is possible. We stop believe that happiness is exist.
And it just made us so much broke inside. We didn't believe anything anymore. Faith, hopes, happiness seems so far away, it become something that we can only dream. A dream that dreamers can only be dreamt.
And finally, we stopped trying to be happy.
We stopped trying to found happiness.
We gave up defining happiness.
We gave up being happy.
Because happiness became frightening so we're running scared when we're about to feel a little bit happiness.
And it's simply because we afraid to feel disappoint anymore. We afraid to be vulnerable anymore when we let our self believe that happiness is possible but in the same time, life bitch us out and make us realize that happiness is not exist just in time we start believe again.

So yeah, it is funny how life can be so tricky. It tricked us to believe before actually drop the bomb to screw us..
Few nights ago, I said to my friend that I thought that I was never going to be happy. And I'm afraid so I was true cos in this moment, happiness seem ain't real for me. And I don't know whether I had courage left to try found happiness anymore.
I just gave up being happy...

Well...well... So much for come back posting from a very long time, eh??
So sorry guys for the absence... :)


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