new year's post again...

okay, today is New Year's Eve, but so what?
tahun lalu, persis di hari ini, gue pernah posting yang kalo ngga salah isinya adalah "what so special about new year? it's just another day changing for heaven's sake!"
and yes, today, one year after, i still want to say those exact words...
what the hell is so special about new year anyway?
apa yang bikin tahun baru sebegitu spesialnya sampe bikin banyak orang rela keluar, kejalanan buat stuck in such a messy massive traffic jam just for the sake of new year's eve celebration?
i just don't get the idea...
it's just another day changing, another month changing. so what so special about that except the fact that our world is become OLDER!

i, personally not a big fan of big new year's celebration because, i don't know why, i found new year's celebration party is sometimes full of desperation.
orang- orang ketawa menyambut datangnya tahun baru padahal semua lagi sibuk mikir "what the hell that i've already done this past year?" dan mikir "what on earth i had to do to fill my empty year so it can be more valuable?".
penuh dengan orang- orang yang sibuk bikin resolusi tahun baru hanya untuk menumbuhkan sedikit ke-positif-an tapi terus mengecewakan diri sendiri dengan ngga bisa memenuhi resolusi- resolusi bodoh mereka yang akhirnya membuat mereka semua mulai enurunkan standard resolusi mereka dari tahun ke tahun.
dan semakin tahun resolusi itu cuma di bongkar-pasang dan diturunkan standardnya, atau sekedar disingkarkan dulu untuk kembali dimunculkan beberapa tahun berikutnya.

yeah, gue bukan making-resolution-kinda-person to begin with.
ntah karena gue berpikir itu saddening atau mungkin juga karena gue hanya sekedar very pessimistic even for having a little faith in my self that maybe one of my resolution will ever be coming true.
i, maybe just as same as those desperate people trying to figure out what the hell am i doing with my life...
and maybe, the answer is i have no freakin' idea what the hell am i doing in my life.

dan menurut gue, new year's celebration biasanya dipenuhi dengan orang- orang insecure yang merasa "haram" ngga punya acara pas taon baru-an.
well, it's not that i hate new years or whatsoever, i just dislike the fact that so many people feel obligated to be with someone else in new year because they THINK they were A LONELY SAD PERSON if they just spend the entire year's last day alone, at home, and doesn't have any celebration at all.
geez, screw that!
i mean, what's wrong with being alone in new year? it's only another day changing for heaven's sake... it's not that big a deal..
hey, it's not denial. and i'm pretty happy spending this whole year's changing thing all by my self because it gives me time to think.
to think about everything. to think about every single thing that happened to me, to think about every single possibilities that may happens.
being alone is giving me time.
and so here i am,
sitting here, in my lonely-sad-depressing-yet-full-of-memories room, infront of my laptop, without any song for background, trying to figure out what am i WANTED (not supposed to, or should do) to do to my life next year, which only 30 minutes away.
and here's the thing...
i will do nothing except living my life just the way it is should be lived.
i will live my life as happy as i could be, as happy as i should be. and i will live my life fullest.
without any regrets, and just happily thank to whatever it is.
dan bukan karena gue mau ber-cheesy ria dengan bilang kalo everything is a gift, but because, well let me break this thing for you guys,
whatever it is, it is your life!
no matter how bitch they were,
no matter how hard they were,
no matter how shit thing turn to be,
it is your freakin' life...
and you cant do anything to run from it..
so embrace it, or you'll be this whiny-annoying-unfunny kinda person.
so once again,
it is your life anyway, and you'll be stuck with it with the rest of your life,
so embrace it.
fall in love all over again with your life.
because life is only big, fat, unfunny jokes that God give us to make us a little more tougher than we were, and so we could learn to understand God's sense of humor.
because if you're not love your life,
the your life would be ten times miserable than it already has.

so, happy new freakin' year for all each one of you!
let life be less bitch than it used to be...
cheers!

new year's post

pertama, gue harus minta maaf karena sudah terlalu lama gue absen dari dunia per-blog-an dan menjadi blogger murtard. sungguh gue minta maaf.
gue bukan blogger musiman yang bikin blog, nge-post beberapa tulisan, lalu meninggalkan blog begtu saja hingga berdebu lalu membuat blog lain. gue bukan blogger seperti itu, hanya saja with no particular reason, para ide- ide seolah lagi pada jutek dan memusuhi gue.

but today, as we all know, is new freakin year's eve! so yes, the second thing i want to say to you guys is
"HAPPY FUN-FREAKIN-TASTIC NEW YEAR" to all of you
and may God listen to our prayers to make life less bitch then it is this year...

merry christmas

well maybe,
maybe this is a little bit late,
but so what?!

"Have a Very Merry Christmas (season) guys!"

Quotes #6

Quotes #5

set up

something has surely changing in my life.
something has surely changing in me.
the way i look at days,
the way i look at things,
the way i look at my self is never be the same ever again.
it's all changing.
and i don't even know whether it changing into a better or a worse thing.
all i know is just, everything was changed.
I, was changed.

being here,
in my empty-yet-full-of memories room, in front of my laptop, writing this post, while Life House's song played in background,
i tried to remember what the hell is changing me.
it's him. everyone knows that.
but, i think it takes more than him to change me.
maybe he did change a little piece of me, but the rest?
i don't think it is him.
it is life i think.
it is life who change me into this person.
it is the fact that i never do anything in my life, that i never achieve any targets in my life,
the fact that i never do any THING in my whole life is changing me.
i mean, by sitting here,
the clear images of me never do anything particular in my life made me terrifies. it made me look things differently. it made me see days differently.
those nineteen-almost-twenty-years passing by without any meaning.
those years just goes by, passing away and wasted.

it is almost new year.
and like i said last year, i don't do new year's resolution, i don't write new year's hope.
because maybe i'm too coward to face another failure when trying to pursue my targets.
or maybe i just too lazy to pursue anything in my life.
but again, the fact that i never done anything in my life slapping my face up and made me realize that i had to do something.
so here it this,
the clock ticking,
the target set already,
three weeks, one story.
three weeks, one born-to-be book.

Sebastian Pigott - Alien Like You

i'm in love with this song!
i first heard it when i watched "Being Erica", a canadian TV Series starring Erin Karpluk. it's quite nice series tho'.
and in their season 2, episode 5, one of tha cast Kai (Sebastian Piggot, a member of Piggot Brothers, a Canadian Rock Star) sang this song. and after that on their twelve episode, Kai sang it again.
here's the scene of it, i took it from youtube..





and here's the lyrics of it.. (and yes, there's a slight different words from the first clip and the other.. and pardon me if there's a mistake because i get this lyrics by listening the song over and over again and write it down..)

I know what your feeling
It's hard to believe in
that home must be millions
and billions of light years away
so let the stars align
let the water make wine
cause broken souls would become home tonight
oh tonite
we know its right so...

lift your eyes and let me in
cause baby Im an alien, like you
will you ever let me be, alien.... with you

Aren't you tired of running
from what your becoming
the truth is its useless there's nowhere to go its not going to find you
so let the heavens flare
let's not be scared
we know love is a world above this one
it's like the sun

lift your eyes and let me in
cause baby Im an alien, like you
will you ever let me be, an alien.... with you

love is hardcore

gue ngga pernah percaya sama yang namanya cinta- cinta an...
ngga pernah juga percaya love does exist...
buat gue cinta itu cuma sekeranjang penuh kebohongan. sebuah kata yang diciptakan sama pujangga roman klasik jaman dulu supaya kisah dongeng mereka jadi laku.
cinta itu ngga lebih dari sekedar phrase penuh ke-klise-an.
i never believe in love.
never believe love does exist.
never ever think that i will fall in love one day.
never ever think, even in my wildest dream, i will love someone...

but apparently, i was wrong.
love does exist...
maybe i'm not fall in love with anyone right now...
but i love someone.
i always love that person.
i thought i don't believe in love because i never fell in love.
but the truth is...
i do loving someone this whole time.
i do fall in love. fall deeply in love...
and the reason why i never fall in love with another person because i'm in love for this whole time... i'm in love till i forget how to love anyone else but him.
i'm so in love till i, my self didn't realize that i love him that much...
i'm so in love till i even forget how to love myself...

and love,
is a crappy thing.
it's not bullshit. but indeed it's full of shit...
to love is to sacrifice.
to sacrifice is to feel pains.
feel pain is to feel fearless about fear...

love is anything but nothing.
i still don't think there is a happy ending for any kind of love story.
i still don't think there were a happy ending for love.
cos love doesn't need sweet romantic romance, nor pure heart like an angel.
love is hardcore.
love is something that require sacrifices.
it's not an angelic pure heart that you need, but a box full of sacrifices. a box full of brave heart.
because love indeed not a sweet softy comfy things.
it's rough, hard, hurting, hardcore, uncomfortable, crazy, fool, but insanely gracious in the same time...

#reirandomtweet

coba ya gue mau narsis sedikit...
jadi alkisah setiap malam, menjelang tengah malam, otak gue ber-evolusi menjadi sedikit lebih besar dan jadi mampu menghasilkan kalimat- kalimat celeng.
maka setiap malam, di twitter gue akan mengadakan late night tweet yang gue beri hash tag #reirandomtweet yang isinya adalah tweet- tweet random gue menjelang malam.
yang isinya kira- kira begini :

1. Life is not about finding the purpose of life.but just to live it.. #reirandomtweet
2. Sometimes,the best part of our life when we had those tiny lil' happiness while our life full of a gigantic probs #reirandomtweet
3. Cinta itu kayak cappuccino.tampilannya cantik.wanginya harum.nikmat dilidah.tapi bikin enek kalo uda dingin dan kebanyakan #reirandomtweet
4. Lover should be like painkillers. They make pains disappeared.not making a new pain everysingle day. #reirandomtweet
5. kalau Tuhan itu maha segalanya dan dia adalah maha romantis, maka dia juga maha tidak romantis... #reirandomtweet
6. What makes break ups hard isn't the person we love move on already.but because we never think we ever broken up. #reirandomtweet
7. There is no such thing called 'fixing a broken heart'.cos once it broke,it'll never be the same ever again. #reirandomtweet
8. Kdg apa yg kt anggap nyata tyt hanya sekedar ilusi.dan ap yg kt pkr hanya mimpi buruk tyt sakitnya seperih cubitan di pipi #reirandomtweet
9. love is something irreversible. something that you can't repeat, something that you can't erase. something that will stick. #reirandomtweet
10. one good thing being a girl for sure : you're allowed to bitching people around just by saying "PMS" .. blissful! #reirandomtweet
11. love is like butterfly... yeah they flew away and don't you even think to catch it cos it's bloody hard!! #reirandomtweet
12. OPEN relationship and friend with BENEFIT is like opening a store without any customer. NO BENEFIT at all... #reirandomtweet
13. Fallin' love is supposed to be hurt. that's why we call it "fall-in-love". cos there is no fall without pains. #reirandomtweet
14. It's not broken heart. It's the nonacceptance of the reality that the person you loved,moving on already #reirandomtweet
15. i don't have any pure heart like an angel. i just had this box full of sacrifices. #reirandomtweet
16. i'm not an angel for sure. i'm just a mere human girl who standing still from the very beginning till the very end... #reirandomtweet
17. 'Don't leave me' is sometimes undestatement while 'i will never leave you' was overstatement.. #reirandomtweet
18. what makes us afraid isn't the pain,nor the sadness.but the ability 2 knew that something important in our live has vanished #reirandomtweet
19. The 'butterflies' doesn't exist. It's just the stomachache.. #reirandomtweet
20. Relationship is overrated while love sometimes was underrated #reirandomtweet

silahkannnn dilihat dan di-follow disini kalo berkenan...hehehe... :D