Thursday, December 31, 2009

new year's post again...

okay, today is New Year's Eve, but so what?
tahun lalu, persis di hari ini, gue pernah posting yang kalo ngga salah isinya adalah "what so special about new year? it's just another day changing for heaven's sake!"
and yes, today, one year after, i still want to say those exact words...
what the hell is so special about new year anyway?
apa yang bikin tahun baru sebegitu spesialnya sampe bikin banyak orang rela keluar, kejalanan buat stuck in such a messy massive traffic jam just for the sake of new year's eve celebration?
i just don't get the idea...
it's just another day changing, another month changing. so what so special about that except the fact that our world is become OLDER!

i, personally not a big fan of big new year's celebration because, i don't know why, i found new year's celebration party is sometimes full of desperation.
orang- orang ketawa menyambut datangnya tahun baru padahal semua lagi sibuk mikir "what the hell that i've already done this past year?" dan mikir "what on earth i had to do to fill my empty year so it can be more valuable?".
penuh dengan orang- orang yang sibuk bikin resolusi tahun baru hanya untuk menumbuhkan sedikit ke-positif-an tapi terus mengecewakan diri sendiri dengan ngga bisa memenuhi resolusi- resolusi bodoh mereka yang akhirnya membuat mereka semua mulai enurunkan standard resolusi mereka dari tahun ke tahun.
dan semakin tahun resolusi itu cuma di bongkar-pasang dan diturunkan standardnya, atau sekedar disingkarkan dulu untuk kembali dimunculkan beberapa tahun berikutnya.

yeah, gue bukan making-resolution-kinda-person to begin with.
ntah karena gue berpikir itu saddening atau mungkin juga karena gue hanya sekedar very pessimistic even for having a little faith in my self that maybe one of my resolution will ever be coming true.
i, maybe just as same as those desperate people trying to figure out what the hell am i doing with my life...
and maybe, the answer is i have no freakin' idea what the hell am i doing in my life.

dan menurut gue, new year's celebration biasanya dipenuhi dengan orang- orang insecure yang merasa "haram" ngga punya acara pas taon baru-an.
well, it's not that i hate new years or whatsoever, i just dislike the fact that so many people feel obligated to be with someone else in new year because they THINK they were A LONELY SAD PERSON if they just spend the entire year's last day alone, at home, and doesn't have any celebration at all.
geez, screw that!
i mean, what's wrong with being alone in new year? it's only another day changing for heaven's sake... it's not that big a deal..
hey, it's not denial. and i'm pretty happy spending this whole year's changing thing all by my self because it gives me time to think.
to think about everything. to think about every single thing that happened to me, to think about every single possibilities that may happens.
being alone is giving me time.
and so here i am,
sitting here, in my lonely-sad-depressing-yet-full-of-memories room, infront of my laptop, without any song for background, trying to figure out what am i WANTED (not supposed to, or should do) to do to my life next year, which only 30 minutes away.
and here's the thing...
i will do nothing except living my life just the way it is should be lived.
i will live my life as happy as i could be, as happy as i should be. and i will live my life fullest.
without any regrets, and just happily thank to whatever it is.
dan bukan karena gue mau ber-cheesy ria dengan bilang kalo everything is a gift, but because, well let me break this thing for you guys,
whatever it is, it is your life!
no matter how bitch they were,
no matter how hard they were,
no matter how shit thing turn to be,
it is your freakin' life...
and you cant do anything to run from it..

so embrace it, or you'll be this whiny-annoying-unfunny kinda person.
so once again,
it is your life anyway, and you'll be stuck with it with the rest of your life,
so embrace it.
fall in love all over again with your life.
because life is only big, fat, unfunny jokes that God give us to make us a little more tougher than we were, and so we could learn to understand God's sense of humor.
because if you're not love your life,
the your life would be ten times miserable than it already has.

so, happy new freakin' year for all each one of you!
let life be less bitch than it used to be...


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